Click Here for Brain Rot
by Kairi and Cloud
Summary: All they wanted was some food. But what they got was much more than they could handle, and much much more than they bargained for. [Crackish tendencies]
1. What a Weirdo

**Kairi**- The plot dust bunny has once again tormented me to the brink of my sanity...

**Cloud**- Yeah, and you had to drag me into this...

**Kairi**- Oh shut up. Well before we begin I must make a point about the names. The names Kairi and Cloud refer to us, your authors.

**Cloud**- Not Cloud Strife and Sora's Kairi. Us, the people who are writing the story. I don't think we will EVER do a crossover. They are just stupid. And I hate them.

**Kairi**- Same here. But another thing the: ---------- mark the place for a point of view change. I'm sorry if its confusing. Blame it on me.

**Cloud**- And the spelling and grammar, I had nothing to do with.

**Kairi**- Enjoy the story!

**Disclaimer**- If you think we own it then I'm surprised you're smart enough to even read. So yeah we don't own it. Stupid.

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The sleeping body shifted, trying to find a more comfortable position for rest. Cramped legs could not stretch completely. A sore back could not find any solace in the cool hard ground beneath. Finding no peace, dark eyelashes parted to reveal pale eyes. The small figure sat up and examined her dark, cramped surroundings.

The unfamiliarity of the location replaced her drowsiness with shock. The over powering darkness would not reveal its secrets. After probing the wall for any clue, light switch or door nob, she tried to summon her family's exceptional bloodline trait, the byakugan. The simple task proved difficult, her own eyes working against her. She concentrated all her power into her stare, her panic level rising with each passing second.

Her focus was so intent on her uncooperative gaze she did not even notice the door (that was right in front of her) open. The blue morning light filled the small room, along with a shadow of a single individual.

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The freezing air was tearing away at his bare arms. Unable to stand the cold any longer, a pale hand was placed on frosted blades of grass. A force repelled his effort to sit up. He soon came to terms with his obstacle, the thick strap on his chest, which was connected to the tremendous gourd on his back. It's extreme weight was unyielding to his vain efforts. Numbed fingers grasped the strap as he slid it over his tattooed head.

He stood up and looked around.

It was early morning, just before sun rise. Towering above him was a great pine tree. He looked over his shoulder. An untamed open field, a row of trees crowning the vast region, and the ruins of a barn. A rocky drive lined the southern side leading to a paved road. Ahead of him were two twin willow trees, ancient and knotted. Beyond that were two houses: a relatively smaller one, with white siding and a black roof, the other was more impressive in size, but still had the same characteristics as the last. The rocky drive wound around the smaller house and out of sight. He was not comfortable exploring the alien country alone, especially with his loss of strength. But he did want to learn more of his situation. His weapon: The Third Eye.

A few hand signs later brought up no result. Two more attempts failed. Giving up all together, he tried to lift his gourd onto his back. The weight proved too much and the gourd fell to the ground with a thud. Not having the heart to leave his sand behind he commenced dragging by the strap open toed sandals digging into the frosted earth.

His weakness was unnerving, he felt alone and vulnerable. the slippery grass was his aid as he made his way toward the bigger of the two houses. He needed to find shelter, the cold was too much for him.

The grass ended and the rocky drive began. The slight incline and texture of the road will give poor Gaara trouble with his gourd. Should he leave it behind?

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A small hand with painted finger nails twisted the nob to her pantry, belly complaining of the lack of nourishment. She swung the door open, watching her toes (she always hit her toes with that stupid door). And as her usual practice, she reached her hand in the darkness for the string that will turn the light on, but her hand stopped short.

There was something in there that caught her off guard and sent chills running up her spine. Fear rooted her to the spot. A girl was standing in her pantry, her features vague and ghostly, but familiar. The lighting was too diminished to reveal any details of the phantom-like girl. But she seemed really concentrated on staring at something. She tried to follow her gaze but found it was inward. Her expression was intensely focused. 'Can she even see me?'

The girl soon noticed her presence and she let out a high pitched scream. It triggered something in the other's head and before she knew it she joined in the scream. Sheer terror issued out their mouths as they shrank away from each other.

With no more air left in their lungs the screams stopped and left the two pressed up against opposite walls cowering on the floor staring cautiously at one another.

"Ummm, c-can you please tell me where I am?" the girl in the pantry asked with obvious fear in her voice, her face shadowed.

"You're in my house. Who are you?" the girl asked suspicious of the unwelcome guest, moving a piece of brown hair away from her eyes, feeling sort of exposed in her dark blue tank top.

"I'm Hinata Hyuga. May I please come out now?" shadows hiding her face.

Her eyes widened. This has got to be some sick joke."No way! Who are you really?" The girl did not like having an unknown person in her house. Who would? And especially one who is pretending to be Hinata Hyuga. What a weirdo.

"I really am Hinata, I don't know who else I would be. Please let me come out, I don't like small spaces."

"Yeah sure come out, it's not like I was stopping you."

The morning light shown onto her lavender eyes. Without a doubt this girl was who she said she was. 'Oh man, what is this? What the hell did I do last night?' The girl walked over to her kitchen sink, thinking how she must still be sleeping, and began to splash cool water on her face, Hinata's eyes following her every movement. "I'm sorry but this is just too weird. So you're Hinata. Well I'm Kairi."

"It's very nice to meet you Kairi, but I really want to go home now." the timid Hyuga said.

"I'm sorry but that would be easier said than done."

"What do you mean?"

There was a loud grinding sound outside. The unexpected ear splitting noise sent the two girls on reaction to the ground with hands protectively over their heads. The loud noise proved Kairi's theory of dreaming wrong, any sound that loud and horrendous has got to wake her up. They looked at each other through the legs of the table separating them.

"What is that?" Kairi asked in a voice barely above a panicked whisper.

"I don't know. I don't even know where I am." Hinata replied. The terrible sound continued as Kairi gestured for Hinata to come here. Crouching low, Hinata obeyed.

"I'm going to look outside the window and see what that is, but stay here okay, because I don't want you getting lost or something."

"Alright."

Kairi crawled to her front door and she slowly gazed above the thick wooden door and out its window. The noise grew louder and it took more and more courage to peer out her own door. Her whole body was shaking from fear of what could be making that awful noise. Irrational ideas ran through her head, like they always do when she gets panicked. Then a strained, tattooed red head appeared at the end of her vision.

A scream escaped her lips as she shrank down onto the ground, her scream was closely followed by Hinata's (who once again flung her hands over her head), and another one heard outside the door. The screams soon subsided and left everyone cowering on the ground.

"What the hell is going on?" Kairi whispered to the frightened Hinata after a few seconds of silence.

"I don't know. Who is it?" judging by the additional scream there had to be another person afoot.

"Its Gaara. What should we do?" Kairi couldn't keep her thoughts straight, her mind was swimming with theories about what the hell is going on, her imagination adding some colorful details. Anxiety was soon to reign over her whole conscious.

"Let him in?" Hinata suggested. She was right. It won't be good if someone saw him, even if they didn't recognize him. Seeing some guy dragging a giant gourd around is just a bit suspicious and out of the ordinary.

"Okay, watch out." Hinata crawled out of the way of the door. Kairi swung open the door, grabbed the startled red head and pulled him into the house. The door was shut before any cold morning air could seep through. The shivering boy stumbled into the strange house.

"What is this!?!" he bellowed, gourd (somehow) still in hand.

Kairi leapt up and put a hand over his mouth, "Shhh, you don't know who else could be here. We'll talk about it when everything is settled down a bit. Just for once now please, please, please just cooperate."

He pushed off her hand and looked annoyed, "I promise nothing," his voice cold and smooth. With his lack of strength he would need some type of ally, no matter how disgusting the concept may seem

"Okay, can you two please wait here while I go check and see if anyone else is in the house? Please don't touch anything." All the possible scenarios ran through her head of what could happen if they did decide to go through the drawers, finding some sharp metal object, going on a rampage, you know that whole chestnut.

The brunette left the room, unsure weather she should have left the two ninjas alone. But she saw no other alternative. She can look faster without dragging those two around. She trotted out of her kitchen in search for any others. There will be no room left unchecked.

As for the two ninjas, they stood at opposite ends of the room pondering their situation avoiding all eye contact all together. What kind of crap did they get themselves into this time?

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**Cloud**- Hinata doesn't seem like a very good ninja...she's too...screamy.

**Kairi**- Yeah...but anyways, there is a bunch more coming up. And a whole lot more appearances. I know this chapter is kinda dull but there will be more action in the others.

**Cloud**- So we want your opinions of the story thus far and blah blah blah, just review!

**Kairi**- Yeah, review or perish!

**Cloud**- The more reviews the faster we update.


	2. SlimFast and Dog Food

**Cloud:** sighs deeply I have officially been sucked into this fanfic. And the sad thing is, the head plot dust bunny loves it. And now I am running low on ideas for Not All Seeing (for those of you that are reading it, gomen!) and I'm kinda frustrated about that.

**Kairi:** Stop ranting! You love writing this fic and you know it!

**Cloud:** I know...that's that really sad part. sighs deeply yet again

**Kairi: ** Glares dangerously Just get on with it...

**Cloud: ** R-right! Here is my first contribution to this fic. Enjoy!

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"I'm home!" a voice rang out to no one in particular, accompanied by the slam of a door. School books were abandoned instantly, left on the top of an old piano that desperately needed tuned. Footsteps echoed throughout the empty house. Brown DCs with periwinkle laces were kicked off an into a corner, and a blue and gold band jacket was thrown onto a deep green armchair.

"Huh, I guess nobody is home..." the 15 year old trailed off, brushing some blonde hair out of her eyes. She walked into the kitchen, eager to get some normal food, unlike the chemical disaster that made up the school lunches. The quiet humming of the refrigerator seemed loud when compared to the overall silence throughout the house.

"I hope Mom bought some more apples..." the blonde said to herself, her mouth beginning to water at the thought of the juicy, red fruit. She grabbed the handle of the refrigerator and pulled it open, the suction making a soft, odd sound. Her jaw dropped instantly when her blue eyes met with the contents of the fridge. Or rather, the lack of contents.

"What the hell?" the blonde yelled. "Who ate all the food?" Her blue eyes scanned the entire fridge anxiously, pulling open all the drawers and looking in each and every shelf. Nothing could be found inside the cool appliance. Shock coursing through her body, she opened the door to the freezer. It was empty as well. She ran over to the cupboard and her jaw dropped yet again when her eyes met with the obvious lack of food. She ran throughout the house, searching desperately for some trace of food, but all that could be found was the familiar green bags of dog food.

"What is going on?" the blonde murmured, feeling awfully crazy. She pinched herself on the arm with painted black fingernails, and felt even more insane when she didn't find herself waking up from some weird dream. And then she heard it. Some soft snickering from upstairs.

Tiptoeing quietly, she crept up the stairs and pressed her ear against the door to her room. And that is when she a hushed voice speaking.

"Dear Diary...My parents just don't get me---"

Blue eyes narrowed in anger, and in one fluid motion she twisted the doorknob and pushed the door open.

"GET AWAY FROM MY DIARY!" she screamed, her blue eyes clouded with rage. And the tanned hand that was holding the small black diary dropped it instantly with a tiny thump. Frightened cerulean and ebony met with shocked blue.

An awkward silence filled the room.

"What--What's going on? Wh-what are you guys doing in my room?" the blonde stuttered, confusion and shock evident on her pale face.

"Oh, this is your room? I like the colors." the ebony-eyed brunette said appreciatively, eyeing the two crimson walls.

"Yeah, nice black comforter." the blonde snickered, forgetting his previous fear when he had been caught reading the diary.

"Nice orange pants, you prick." the blonde girl said, eyes narrowed.

"Haha, you got called a prick!" the brunette exclaimed, obviously overjoyed. "You're pretty cool." he continued, turning to the girl. "What's your name?"

"You guys can call me Cloud." the blonde answered back, still slightly wary of the two boys in her room.

Noticing that Cloud looked slightly distracted, the jumpsuit-clad boy turned his gaze to a old, wooden desk, where various papers were scattered about. Upon closer inspection, the blonde boy saw that most of the papers were artwork. Leaning down, he ruffled through some of the papers. Then one caught his eye. It was a pencil sketch of two chibis holding hands. The blushing chibi had a hairstyle that seemed oddly familiar to him, while the other had three whisker-like marks on each cheek.

"What the hell?!" the blonde boy shrieked, causing the other two in the room to jump. "Why is there a drawing of me holding hands with Sasuke-teme?!?!"

"Oh, that..." Cloud started weakly, blushing slightly. "It's from a fanfic that I am writing."

"A fanfic?" the brunette echoed, his dark eyes wide with shock. "And a fanart of Sasuke and Naruto? Wait a minute, we've just met! How do you know us?"

"Forget that, Kiba!" Naruto said angrily. "First, I want an explanation. Why am I holding hands with Sasuke?!"

"Chill out, Naruto." Cloud said, rolling her eyes. "Look at the drawing underneath the one of you and Sasuke."

Groaning in frustration, Naruto obliged and looked at the drawing below. It was another pencil sketch chibi, holding a bottle of what appeared to be alcohol. Judging by the fang-like marks on each cheek, Naruto recognized instantly that it was Kiba. Behind Kiba, there were two small figures, but judging by the hairstyle of the one and the gourd on the other's back, Naruto could see that it was Sasuke and Gaara. Sasuke had an expression of shock, while Gaara looked as he normally did. Pissed off. Underneath, there was a caption. 'Inuzuka Kiba has to be the bravest ninja in the world. Or the dumbest. We really haven't decided yet.'

"I think he's the dumbest." Naruto said. "But what does this have to do with me holding Sasuke's hand?"

"It's easy." Cloud replied. "Sasuke got over his initial shock of Kiba taking the last bottle, and he got really mad. So you went up to him and grabbed his hand to lead him away. Go ahead and read the caption for that one."

Naruto looked back at the offending drawing and read the caption to himself. 'Now now, Sasuke, no vengeance for you today.'

"Ok, I guess that helps explain it. But why is the bastard blushing?" Naruto asked, still suspicious.

"He's drunk, of course." Cloud lied quickly, her poker face perfect.

"Oh, that explains it..." Naruto trailed off, finally looking eased.

"Why was Sasuke drunk?" Kiba asked, his dark eyes curious.

"Oh, you and Naruto decided to throw a huge drunken party during the chunin exams at Suna, while Tsunade and a bunch of other jonin and genin were gone. So almost everyone that showed up ended up completely wasted."

"Wow." Kiba said softly, his face full of awe. "That's something that I think we would actually do..."

"Well I would hope so." Cloud said smugly. "I wouldn't want to make you guys out of character. It ruins all the fun."

"Okay, now that we have the fanart business settled, I think you should explain something else to us now." Kiba said. "How do you know us?"

"Ok, this is the only way I can think of explaining it." Cloud said, moving to her bookshelf. Pulling two objects gently from their places, she handed one to Kiba and one to Naruto. Both boys gasped as they looked at the covers. Across the front were bold, orange letters, coming together to form a name. Naruto.

"Whoa...this is too weird..." Kiba said, his dark eyes wide as he stared down at the manga in his hands. "Whoa..."

"I have a manga series based on...me?" Naruto asked, his cerulean eyes swimming with shock.

"Yep." Cloud said simply, amused by both boys' expressions. "Pretty much."

"So that mean...you know?" Naruto asked Cloud in a weak voice, causing Kiba to raise a single eyebrow at vague question.

"Yeah, I know." Cloud replied, thinking of the powerful demon known as Kyuubi. "And I don't think any differently of you."

Naruto smiled at Cloud, who returned the smile with her own. Kiba looked confused, but decided that it would be best not to question the weird exchange of words.

"So in this world, we are fictional?" Kiba asked, obviously changing the subject.

Cloud nodded in response. "So how did you guys get here?" she asked.

"I'm not sure..." Naruto responded. "I don't remember exactly what happened. I just remember waking up in this room with Kiba."

"Hm, I wonder if you two are the only one's here..." Cloud trailed off, looking lost in thought. And then she suddenly remembered that the house was completely devoid of food. Her blue eyes narrowed dangerously. "Did you guys take the food?"

"Food?" Kiba echoed. "No, we haven't left this room. Why?"

Blue eyes clouded over with rage as the pieces finally came together. "I am gonna kill...Chouji."

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**Kairi:** I can't believe you snuck some SasuNaru in here!

**Cloud:** Psssht that didn't count.

**Kairi:** Tricky tricky...starts to mutter about anti-SasuNaru stuff

**Cloud:** Well, if anyone right now has any questions, comments or suggestions, review!

**Kairi:** Just review period. You will make us happy and such!


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